our hearts are broken. yesterday morning when i woke up, it was so quiet. too quiet. all i could hear was the clock ticking. i am so thankful for my knowledge of eternal families, and that each second that goes by brings me closer to being with my sweet baby girl again.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
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128 comments:
SO sorry for your loss! You are in our prayers!
I am a friend of Ashley Larsen's (we may have even met before at book club) and my family and I have been following little Ruby's story for many months. Our hearts are broken for you. We have 3 little ones and cannot even imagine the pain of losing one of them. We continue to pray for all of you every day and are so grateful for the knowledge that you will all be reunited again.
Thank you for sharing your story I have been following for days now and have been greatly touched by your faith in our Heavenly Father as you go through the unimaginable pain of losing your sweet Ruby. Your family has been in our prayers and will continue to be as you are given the comfort and strength that you need.
Dont think like that!!! I know this is terrible and it shouldnt have happened to your family! But you still have an amazing life to live!! The loss of Ruby is a loss for the world. You are in my thoughts and i hope your family feels better soon. Please keep encouraging people to donate organs. and keep doing the inspiring things you were meant to do. Keep your head high. tell Kate every moment you can that you love her. make every moment worth it. and most importantly, keep Ruby in your heart.
So very sorry for what you are going through. Your family is in my thought and prayers. Hold your little Kate bug close.
I would feel the same way. Much love to you. I think about YOU every second.
I love you Ani. All I want to do is wrap my arms around you. I feel for you so much. You are amazing. Continued prayers for your family.
I am so very sorry for your loss! I can not even begin to fsthom that you are feeling at this time. I sobbed while reading your blog and seeing the pictures of your beautiful family and your absolutely gorgeous Ruby! My heart is broken. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry that help couldn't be received in time. :(
Dear Ani,
Karissa Lemme told me about your terrible loss. I have spent the morning reading your blog. What an incredible journey you and your family have been through. Your words have changed my life. I look at my 2yr. old and will treasure her more.
May God be with you and encircle you with His love and peace and comfort. Bless you for your courage.
Sincerely,
Anya Wilson
Ani and Matt, my heart is so heavy for the loss of your sweet Ruby Jane. But what a gift the plan our Father in Heaven has for all of us. Your baby girl is yours forever. She is a special girl and touched so many lives in her short time here on Earth. I pray that you will feel the love and support from all the hundreds of people praying for you and mourning with you. And most importantly from our Heavenly Father. He must think an awful lot of you guys to bless you with such a special girl. I hope you guys will feel peace through this difficult time.
I am sure. I think about you a lot at certain times of the day- thinking this would be a hard moment... and through tears say a little prayer for you. Wish we could be there to celebrate Ruby's life and show our support.
My heart is broken for you. I have not stopped thinking about you and the feelings you must feel.
Such heartache but also joy and comfort KNOWING she is in a better place and free from pain.
I hope you and your family will find the peace you need.
Keep your head up Ani. You'll be with your precious Ruby again someday. For now she is looking down on you watching over her precious family. You were the world to her, and her comfort. For now it is time for you to rest and be with dear Kate. She needs you too. Prayers are coming from around the world, we love your family so much. May you find peace in that.
I am so beyond sorry for your loss. You are a darling family and you will be with your little one again before you know it. I am sure that she is looking down on you right now wanting nothing but happiness and joy for you through out your days here on earth. sending huge hugs and prayers your way!!
Last night I had trouble falling asleep. I kept thinking about your sweet little Ruby and how badly you must be longing to see her smile at you again or feel her soft, warm body close to yours. I hurt so much for you right now. I was only able to fall asleep when I turned my thoughts to heaven and what a sweet picture it must be to see Ruby in our Savior's arms. May God bless you with the peace and strength you need to get through each day. So many people are praying for you and your family.
this must be so overwhelming.
May God bless you and your family. Though there were only 7 months, there are a ton of memories of Ruby for you to keep alive.
breathe in, breathe out.
just one day at a time, ani.
we prayed so fervently for ruby, now our thoughts turn to you and matt.
I hope you feel a bit of heaven in your home and the lifting from many prayers said in your behalf.
much love, elizabeth harris
We've never met, but I am praying for you and your beautiful family. I just learned of your story and I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story is a great reminder to everyone what's truly important in life... and to not take family and health for granted. I pray that you'll somehow find peace with the hard times that follow.
Elizabeth
I have been reading little Ruby's journey for days now......and yesterday before I refreshed the page my friend and I were about to sign up for donors for Baby Ruby......she has inspired me sooo much and one of the bravest little girl I have ever read about.....she is a joy.... When I read the uploaded post my heart sank.....I feel as if I know Ruby and now I miss her truly....condolences to the Taylor family
With Love,
Daizha
Thinking of you and your family :( Ruby was such a gorgeous baby girl.
I am a friend of Megan Richardson and Megan Wolfe. I know we don't know each other but I just wanted to write and tell you how much my heart aches for your family and your loss of that sweet baby girl. She looks like she was a little angel and had suffered so much. Praying for all of you to find comfort at such a difficult time.
Ani
Your family has not left my mind. every day. all day.
I came across this quote and my eyes were wet, yet again.
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience, is wasted. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire."
-Orson F. Whitney
xo
jill
oh ani, I am so sorry. there are truly no words. so grateful to have the blessing of eternal families.
I've been thinking of you lots, and wondered how you are doing with all of this. I wouldn't even know where to start. I say just take your time and you know exactly what YOU need to do. Don't have anyone pressure you into feeling a certain way or whatever. You have suffered a huge loss and I'm guessing it takes a very very long time. Much love and hugs your way!
Praying for you and your family and for the Lord to give you extra strength and comfort during this extremely trying time.
We're praying for your family and praying that you'll be able to grieve in the ways that you need to without thought to how the outside world is looking in. So sorry for your loss and so grateful for eternal families.
I just came across your blog about a week ago, and in that short time, your little angel and family have touched my life. You are continually in my prayers.
you don't know me, but I have been following you blog for quite a while now. My heart is entirely broken for you and I am at a loss of words right now. Please know that I have been praying for your family. I know this is by far that hardest thing you will ever have to face on this earth life, but I also know that your sweet Ruby is in a better place now with her Heavenly Father. She is no longer suffering and is at peace. How wonderful it is to know of the plan of salvation and that we can be together with our families forever?! I would be lost without that knowledge and am so grateful for this gospel.
My prayers will continue to be with you now and always.
Ani-
I echo elizabeth harris,
take it minute by minute. I pray as you face the time ahead of you, you feel the embrace of the Savior, feel his love envelop you, surround you and keep you safe.
sending our love
rachel garces
I just kissed my three year old daughter good night with tears in my eyes, thinking of you... love from Mia in Sweden :(
Thank you for your amazing example and strength while enduring this unimaginable heartbreak. I try to read your words to my husband and can't ever finish without crying. I hope you feel the support that is coming from so many praying on behalf of you and your family. You are loved!
You don't know me either but I have mutual friends that led me to your blog. I have been following you and your amazing family for a little while now. What an inspiration not only little Ruby has been for me, but also you and your family. I can tell these last 7 months have been hard, but you were able to share Ruby's story with others and make a hard thing memorable and inspirational. Watching a video of you being such a great mom and being there with Ruby every step of the way was so motivating to me. I sobbed the entire time watching at how strong you and Ruby were. What a great team! Isn't it wonderful that you have the knowledge of eternal families? I know there will be days that are hard, even unbearable. I pray that they will start to become few and far between. There are so many prayers being said for your family. The Lord and Ruby are watching over you:)
I just became aware of Ruby the day before she left, and as a mother of two little girls, and as one of your many Sisters around the world, I feel so heartbroken for you. When I went to bed last night I thought of you doing the same, and how devastatingly you must be missing her, and I sobbed. Thankyou for sharing her, your strength, and love with all of us. Much love and many prayers!
I am so sorry!! I've never met you but I just love your family. My heart aches for you. You are so strong and I know you will get through this. What a blessing your family is to the world and thank you so much for sharing your story and your beautiful Ruby with all of us. Stay strong!! HUGS!!!!
Oh Ani, you have been on my mind constantly. I wish that I could hug you and somehow try to help make sense of this pain and awful loneliness. The Savior loves you and your family so much. He wants to carry your pain. Ruby is free of ticking clocks and tubes and monitors and pain. She is wrapped in the perfect love of our Savior. She came here to help the rest of us reach the place where she was already worthy to go. You helped her to help the rest of us and I thank you for that. I wish it could have been different and you didn't have to go through this. Just keep taking it seconds at a time like you are doing. Love you so much.
I have been following your blog for the last few weeks, and I cannot imagine the hurt in yours and your familys' heart. Your faith thru this all is amazing and makes me take at mine. Thru your story I have looked at my life differently, I hold my kids as much as possible, even tho they scream. I pray for your family, and pray the days get easier. lean on your family as much as possible!
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ruby. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. Although I have lost loved ones, I can't imagine the pain that would come from losing your own child. I so wish you didn't have to go through that. I read this talk by Elder Holland awhile ago, and I found a lot of peace in it. Maybe you will too. http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-602-22,00.html
I wish we were all able to take your pain away, but only Christ can do that. Keeping an eternal perspective will hopefully bring peace to you and your family.
We're all praying for your family at this difficult time.
You are an inspiration. I just adore your family. I am LDS too and it really helps to know that you will be together forever.
Ani...you, Matt and Kate are in my thoughts quite often. I imagined being back home and living your day to day life would be the hardest to get used to. I agree with the comment already made about taking it at your own pace. Only you will know when you're ready to move forward and get back to a new way of life. No expectations, no apologies needed...just you, Matt and Kate finding a new normal with sweet Ruby's memory always alive within you. I pray that these coming days will be manageable and that the spirit will guide you and bring you the comfort you need to keep living one day at a time. I wish we could come celebrate Ruby's life with you on Tuesday. Although I never got to meet her, she has surely left an imprint on my heart. You have too. It's brave to do what you've done. First to be a mother to a sick baby girl and experience what you have, and second to share your journey with all of us. We'll be thinking of you and praying for you on Tuesday. Everything will be ok. Because we have the knowledge we do, everything will be ok.
I just came across your blog today. My heart hurts for you. We lost a little girl just over 3 years ago and your last post. . . it hurts to know that you are hurting. I am so sorry for your loss. Ruby is absolutely beautiful. So is your other sweet daughter. Thank goodness for the gospel, but it still hurts. Really bad. Thanks for sharing her story. We will be praying for your family. I can't stop crying. . .
One day at a time.
My heart is breaking for you and your family. Thank you for being so open and sharing Ruby's journey with the world. She changed many lives, including mine. Thank you for helping me slow down and spend more time loving on my precious little ones. Know that the prayers are continuing for you guys in your time of need.
The first time I came across your blog was the beginning of this month...Ruby and your family have been on my mind constantly ever since. You were honestly my first thought when I woke up this morning, knowing Ruby would be your first and every thought. Though I've never met any of you, my heart aches for you. I can't even imagine how heartbroken you must be, how desperately you must miss your sweet baby. She was a true gem, absolutely beautiful inside and out.
I know this won't take away your pain, but a friend of mine who lost her baby last year shared this quote: "Why [is it] that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again...The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."--Joseph Smith, Jr.
Taylor family- I have been following your blog for the last couple of months & have been praying for your family & sweet, sweet Ruby. What an Angel! Your family & Ruby have touch me very deeply, you have been in my thoughts & prayers... nonstop!
Thank you, Ani for sharing your thoughts with all of us, you are such an inspirational woman, wife & mother. Ruby was meant for you! Ruby accomplished her miracle! & she is FOREVER yours!
God & sweet Angel Ruby are watching over you! Sending you big hugs.
I learned about your family today. My sincerest prayers are with you. Ruby is lucky to have such an amazing family that gets to be with her again some day. Stay strong. Bless you all.
Though you don't know me personally, I want to tell you I am SO sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby Ruby Jane. I found your blog through a post by Sandi Benson on facebook. My daughters & I have been praying so hard for Ruby. I am grateful for you taking the time to share with us your "perspective" on what matters most....our eternal families. May the Lord bless you & your family at this incredibly difficult time. May you be strengthened by the prayers of others. I pray the veil will be thin and that you will feel Ruby's presence when needed.
A few years ago a close friend of mine lost her son and this was shared at his funeral by the prophet Joseph Smith:
He told us that we should receive those children in the morning of the resurrection just as we laid them down, in purity and innocence, and we should nourish and care for them as their mothers. He said that children would be raised in the resurrection just as they were laid down, and that they would obtain all the intelligence necessary to occupy thrones, principalities and powers.”
Thank you for sharing your life and Ruby's life. I am changed and better because of it. You and your family are in my prayers.
Ani, With each second that you wait to be reunited with your sweet Ruby, I've vowed to be a better mother. You are inspiring mothers like me everywhere.
You are so strong Ani. I hope you give yourself the time to grieve and to find ways that help you personally feel comfort.
I still think about Ruby so much during my day. I've never had a person I've never met impact me so much as Ruby has. For that I will be forever thankful to you!
I just started following your blog last week and I'm so sad for you, but I know your little angel is waiting to see you again. She is so lucky to have you as parents! I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Take some time to rest and heal. Heavenly Father is watching over you and so is your sweet Ruby.
With many hugs,
Alisha Morgan from Utah
Taylor Family,
I have been following your blog since March. I have 2 girls, same exact ages of your two. So, it immediately caught my attention. I knew your family could use the prayers. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am. I know there are no words to make you feel better or make things better. But, I would like to believe that sweet Ruby Jane was an angel on earth. She was totally sent here to teach us all something about life. I know she has touched millions of lives. And you and Matt were "those parents," that the Lord hand-picked to be THE BEST parents to sweet Ruby. And that you did. You made Him smile and proud of you. It wasn't an easy task to carry in life. But, you guys did it way better than most would have. Your family has taught me to appreciate ALL little things. To SLOW DOWN. To pray more. Love more. Grow more. I haven't been to church in over a year, but you can bet that I will be sitting in those pews tomorrow morning. You guys have taught my family a whole new meaning to life. And for that, we thank you. And we thank sweet Ruby Jane. My heart aches and I haven't stopped crying in a week. The Lord works in mysterious ways. You will be forever blessed. You are my inspiration...so is Ruby Jane and miss Kate. Much love to you all.
You don't know me but I started following your blog a few months ago when Carly Carlson first posted about sweet ruby. There is nothing I can say to help your heart heal but I just wanted to thank you for sharing ruby's story. She has touched my heart and in the 7 months that she graced this earth she has touched more people's lives than most 90 year olds. I am so sorry for your loss and will continue to pray for your family.
I can't stop thinking about you and your family. Don't be too hard on yourself and remember that you have a wonderful daughter that needs you now more than ever. Give her a hug RIGHT now. Can you imagine going through this without your Kate by your side? As with any loss, don't feel bad crying and mourning over it. I think sometimes we try so hard to be tough and brave for everyone else, but we are breaking into a million pieces on the inside. Be human for a time and cry it out. Rejoice that that beautiful baby was with you and has taught you more than you could even imagine in this short time. I'm praying for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will hurt forever, but I pray that as time goes on you hurt less. I pray for comfort and peace for you. Take care of yourself and know that Ruby Jane will be watching over you, Matt and her big sister Kate.
Ani - I have been following your story and I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother (RM, in pilot training for the Air Force, Newlywed with a baby on the way) in a tragic accident 3 years ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday. A sibling is not a child, but I have learned some things about grief along the way I wanted to share with you.
It is totally ok to feel that each second will bring you closer to your baby girl. Be patient with yourself. Put something beautiful by your bed to look at when you wake up and go to sleep - those are the hardest times. Whatever you are feeling is a NORMAL part of grief - anger, peace, ups and downs, like you can't breath and life will never be the same. Grief is a journey - there is no "getting over it" or "moving on." We get THROUGH it one minute at a time. Time does heal and I know you will be a strength and inspiration for many.
"Tear Soup" is an incredible book on grief written like a simple children's story. When you can (in weeks, months or years) I recommend getting a copy of it from Amazon.
My heart aches for you and my prayers go out to you.
Matt and Ani, my heart is so heavy for you and your family right now. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are having to deal with, and have dealt with the last few months. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you right now, and I truly hope you find the comfort and peace you are needing in this difficult time.
It's so great to be members of a church who believe and know that eternal families do exist, and that you will be able to be with your sweet little Ruby Jane again. You and Matt are truly amazing people.
I came across your blog from a mutual friend yesterday. I read through your family's trial and was overwhelmed. What I gained from this was to love your family unconditional. My heart goes out to your family! I have two little girls who mean the world to me and my priorities have quickly moved my girls and husband to the top and I have a new perspective on life! So grateful for eternal families.
You don't know me. I heard about your family on Sarah Hull's blog. My little girl Lily died almost three years ago, shortly after her first birthday. We were very lucky to have her on earth with us for that long. She is still a very important part of our family, and we look forward to seeing her again someday. Lily and her next oldest sister, Sariah, were very close. Sariah loved being a big sister. It was hard for all of us to say goodbye, but hardest for Sariah. But do you know what? Lily makes sure that Sariah still feels like a big sister. Sariah continues to be very close to Lily. Sariah has some medical issues herself, and during times of illness, Lily always comes to comfort her. Our belief that families is strengthened by these experiences, as we see that Lily remains a part of our family. I know how hard the coming days will be for you. It is so hard to not have a little one's body to care for here on earth, when you worked so hard to help her during the time she was here. I pray that you will be comforted, and that you will find renewed joy in this part of your journey.
Ani, I really hope you know what an inspiration you, Ruby, and your family are to the world. You are spreading the gospel through this experience. You should have heard the things Karen said to me about it when I spoke with her on the phone a few nights ago. I know that sometimes thinking those things doesn't make the pain any easier, but hopefully it can carry you through a little. It's ok to cry and to let the pain swallow you up sometimes. You have to. Just continue to rely on the Savior during those times, and he will make your burdens a little lighter. That sweet little baby is smiling down on your cheering you on I just know it. I just read that quote by Joseph Smith that someone put on your fb. That was a great reminder and I know good will come from this. We are praying as hard as we can for you and Matt and Kate.
You have truely inspired me. What a special little angel you were blessed with for 7 months. You gave that precious spirit a beautiful body and in the process touched so many lives. I have 2 children the same age as yours. My youngest, Pippa Jane(1yr.), reminds me so much of your Ruby Jane. Your "perspective" post changed my life. What a beautiful thought it is to know our families are eternal.
Been thinking about you all day and will continue to pray for you and your sweet family. Im so grateful too for eternal families. Im sure Ruby is having a great time up there in Heaven.
I am just crying and chilled right now. I am so SORRY for your loss, I can't even think of the words to say or imagine the feelings you have in your heart right now.
I am grateful for your understanding of the gospel and your Eternal Family. She will go straight to our Heavenly Father and leave this life of pain behind.
Our prayers are STILL with your family. I am SO SORRY!
oh ani, i am so sorry. feel what you need to feel. say what you need to say. there is no wrong way to handle your personal grief; going through each feeling that comes is what will bring you the healing and peace on the other side. i cannot even imagine the hurt. i weep for you each time that i stop to try. prayers.
Love you Ani. Hugs to you, Matt and Kate.
I think of you all many times throughout the day and night and each time I do I say a prayer that God surrounds all of you with His almighty love. I am so sorry that you have to deal with such a loss - you are an amazing mother and an inspiration to many.
Thinking of you all, sending prayers.
I'm hearbroken for you and your family. I can't imagine the pain you are in. I pray that you can find peace and comfort in your heart and feel God's love. I wish I could say or do something to make this somewhat easier but I know that a piece of your heart left with your sweet baby girl and will never come back.
I would just like to leave a link to this website called Good grief.It's been started by a mom that lost her daughter and I hope it can help you and your family with grieving.
www.agoodgrief.com
I also can't help but think of this saying that touched my heart at a friend's funeral.
'One way to have a piece of Heaven in your home is to have someone from your home in Heaven..'
Praying for you and your family....
Love, Erika
What would we do without this church on earth? I am so grateful for eternal families. I have been watching your blog for a little while. You are an amazing family. Your daughter and your family will be whole in Heaven.
Ani, Your family has been a beautiful inspiration for our family. I think you have taught a lot of people across this country about love and life. My heart aches for you, and your family. I am sure little Kate is having trouble with all of this as well. As a young mother myself, my heart aches and aches to think of you finding peace within yourself helping Kate process all of this.
Ruby Jane, God bless you and hold you sweetie pie. You did miraculous work little angel. Watch over your Mommy and Daddy and sister. You have changed my world. I will never ever be the same. Even though I never actually got to meet you, I feel like I know you. A piece of you will always be in my heart.
God bless the Taylor family!
Tonight is the first time I have had the priviledge of learning about Ruby Jane and the Taylor Family. I will be praying for you all in the next few days. Thank you for your perspective and for sharing Ruby Jane with the world. Her smile alone makes me thankful.
I think about you and your family all the time. How I ache for you and pray for you. Remember that there is an army here, ready to support and love you. Families are forever. Love to your family from ours...
Ani & family,
I haven't stopped thinking about you since I heard about your story a few days ago. My heart literally aches for you. What a crowd you have touched and what a sweet angel Ruby was and is. What would we all do without the knowledge of eternal families?! I'm reminded of Emma Smith and how she lost several of her babies,and that as an elderly woman, she had a dream of her husband Joseph walking her through a beatiful mansion to a cradle holding one of her babies. And then and there, she was able to hold her sweet baby again. May you always have His arms around you and know that though the days may seem long at times, our time spent here on earth is but a drop in the bucket compared to our eternal lives. You will hold her again and it will be forever. What a comfort.
Praying for you all,
Brandi
St. George, UT
Prayers for your family. Thank you for sharing .....Ruby has truly touched so many lives, including mine.
Ani, you are so loved and everyone that loves you has become a better person because of ruby. She did incredible things while she was here on earth, but she will always continue to touch our hearts.
I often look back on that quite sunny Tuesday that I was privilege enough to be with you and hold sweet Ruby. I will never forget her in my life and those unforgettable eyes and smile. She looked up to you and knew you would do anything for her. I pray for you, Matt and Kate whenever I can, but I often think of your amazing mom and dad. They are special grand parents. I pray for them too. Love you lots! Xoxo aubs
Cason and I have been thinking and praying about your sweet family for the past few months. You have been and continue to be on our minds and in our prayers. We are so sorry for the loss of your beautiful angel Ruby. Your faith and strength through all of this has made me want to be a better mom, and because of you I am trying harder to be. Ruby girl was obviously sent here for many reasons, one of which was to strengthen us all. We will continue to pray for you and your dear family. xoxo!
Just got a message from a friend on mine... wanted to pass along.
"I hope you are ok. I know how passionately, and lovingly you supported and updated the rest of us. Please tell her mom and dad, and especially her mom, what an inspiration her blog has been to me. I find motherhood to be almost unbearable at times, mostly because of my own short comings. But the night after I read through her blog, I thanked my Heavenly Father that they are healthy and strong. Things can be taken away and change in an instant and I hope if that ever happens to me that I will be so amazing like Ruby's wonderful parents. Let them know that they are in our prayers!"
My heart is breaking with you. I too am so grateful for eternal families. I'm so glad that you have that knowledge to comfort you right now. Ruby has affected more lives than you can imagine, mine included. My prayers will continue to be offered in your behalf. Take care.
Like many, I came upon your story through a mutual friend and it has inspired me and helped me to be a better mother, to more fully enjoy this journey. I was heartbroken to hear the news that your sweet Ruby was no longer here with you. As I snuggled my sweet baby tonight, I thought of you and how it is not fair that you no longer have your baby to hold. I cannot even begin to imagine the emptiness your heart must feel at losing a child. However, I am grateful for a loving Father that is not concerned with what is fair, but rather for what is needed to fulfill his purpose and plan. And so, I will continue to pray that Heavenly Father will send his spirit to encircle you every second of every day, and that you and your family will receive the comfort you need until you are all reunited with your darling Ruby and your hearts are made whole again.
Ani, I don't know you, but your daughter, Ruby Jane, has changed my life. And your bravery has inspired me in so many ways. I will never forget you and your family. I will continue to pray for healing and just that God will show His presence in your life right now. Thank you for being such an advocate of organ donation. I hate a grandma and grandpa who both died waiting for transplants--my grandma waited for a liver also. I cannot express how sorry I am that your precious baby went through this. God has a plan for each of us. And it is amazing how Ruby Jane affected so many people in her beautiful, short life. Thank you for sharing her life with people like me--people who just happened to find your story and now, will be transformed forever.
I am thinking of you and your beautiful family. Wishing you peace.
I was thinking about your family last night as I fell asleep. I prayed for you and I will continue to pray for you. Your family is in my thoughts.
Ani...the loss you and your family are feeling right now is unimaginable. My heart is breaking for you. Ruby is such a beautiful little girl-you could feel her Spirit without ever having met her. Her trial has blessed and taught so many. I can't begin to understand the pain you must be feeling right now, but I know you and know you are finding much comfort in your strong testimony of eternal families. I am so happy you and Matt have been sealed in the temple and Ruby and Kate are forever yours.
I keep thinking of how I had the honor to teach you in Young Women's and now it is your turn to teach me. You are such an example of faith, strength, and hope. I love you dear Ani and am so proud of you. You are amazing.
Heavenly Father has blessed you with an amazing family and so many friends who love you dearly. Let them help you through this time. When you feel like you don't have any strength left, lean on them. Our Savior cannot physically wrap his arms around you at this time, but you will feel his presence as you lean on those you love.
I love you and your sweet family so much.
I am in love with your honest heart, thank you for sharing it with us during this time. I'm glad you can share how you feel and know a bunch of us(and our Heavenly Father)hear you!
I haven't stopped thinking about you.
Ani,
You and your family are so loved. Everyone here would take some of your hurt and pain if we could, but instead, we cry with you. And we will for as long as you need us to.
Little Ruby will never be forgotten by anyone who has been touched by her spirit... she will live on in each of our lives because she has made us better. What a gift she is and will always be.
Christina Draper
I am a stranger, but I have been following this blog through some mutual friends. Thank you for being so candid and open about everything. I will echo the many condolences that have been given and say that your family and sweet Baby Ruby have been on my mind and in my thoughts and prayers for a while now. Although I have recently suffered a tragic loss, I know it does not compare to this pain at all. My sister died a few months ago while I was pregnant. I now have a 4 month old girl. Although I can't understand your pain, I can understand a mother's love for her sweet little girl. My heart is breaking for you, Ani. I wish I could take even a fraction of the burden off you and bear it with you. Just know that so many people you haven't even met are mourning for you. I pray that you may find comfort. Your family is loved, and your beautiful sweet Ruby gives so much inspiration to many. I can see it in her eyes; she was a wise spirit... an Angel too pure for this world. Although she will be missed, you will someday get to hold her in your arms once again. What a wonderful day that will be. -Jamie Decker
To: Ani, Matt, & Kate:
My deepest condolences go out to the 3 of you! I am a young mother of a beautiful 10 month year old baby girl and I can only imagine what you've been through Ani. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. The testimony that you have for this gospel is so powerful! My testimony definitely had grown since I've followed your blog! Although I've never met your precious Ruby Jane, I truly have soo much love for her. My heart aches for her this day! -Marina
I only just found out about precious Ruby this past week from my friend Melissa Mann's Facebook posting, yet her story touched my heart immediately. I pray you and your family find solace in the Lord and know He doesn't give you more than you can handle. He had a master plan for Ruby and it was obviously to touch the hearts of everyone following her story as well as teach others to appreciate their loved ones. Time heals all wounds and someday you will all be reunited.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”
Oh Ani, my heart breaks for you. I pray for you, your family and baby Ruby! God bless her and all of you... I'm very sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been following your blog the past few months and have touched and become a better person because of your beautiful family. I'm sorry you have to go through this pain right now. Ruby will be with you and the thousands that she has touch and been an example to for the rest of our lives. your family is in our prayers. Ruby Jane is absolutely the prettiest baby I have every seen. Much love to your family.
A friend told me once that there is no wrong way to grieve. I believe that and I hope you find whichever way brings you peace. I will continue to pray for you and thank Heavenly Father that you have so much love and support because you deserve every bit of it. And then some.
im glad i came across your blog...this weekend my little 3month daughter was fussier than ever & I patiently enjoyed every moment of her kicking & crying in my arms...thinking how blessed we are with the time we have to enjoy these little spirits...i truly have been touched by your strength and faith. love you little ruby, you have a wonderful mommy, families are forever & ever, xo the aspinall 'ohana :)
I'm so sorry for the the loss of your sweet baby Ruby. I just started reading your blog the day before she passed away. I was heartbroken. I wish I could give you a big hug. I will continue to pray for you and your cute family.
Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. Thank you for bringing to light the importance of organ donation. I am truly heartbroken that a match was not found for Ruby in time. I can not imagine what you are going through right now, but find comfort in knowing that you have changed so many lives in such a short time.
Her pain and suffering is now over as yours is beginning. Hold her memories close in your heart until you see her again.
May the Angels hold you all gently during this time.
Much love and strength coming your way.
Jeri
Your faith is inspiring and so are you all. Ruby Jane will live on in our thoughts and by inspiring us all as well. God Bless!
Ani I am so overcome with grief for you. You are constantly on my mind. Dave said last night that families that go through losing a child experience emotions that we cannot fully understand or appreciate. I cannot imagine. Before my great-uncle lost his little girl, Pres. Spencer W. Kimball administered to her. He said to always be positive that it will work out. She passed away soon after. He lived his whole life with the hope of seeing her again. Now its a reality. He is now in his late 80s dying of cancer and cannot wait to see his daughter on the other side. It will work out. You are an eternal family and Ruby will be actively working on the other side whole, pure, and exalted on your behalf so you can enjoy that sweet reunion with her one day.
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart, prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family.
Families are forever.
My heart is breaking for you all.
i wish there was something i could say. i have been trying to think of something, but everything seems so lame in comparison to what you're going through. but, i feel like saying something is hopefully better than saying nothing. i am so sorry. my heart is broken for your family. i have cried so many times just thinking about you. i keep asking myself if it's weird for me to feel so strongly about a family and a baby i've never met, but i've decided it's not. that is what makes us human, i guess. having compassion and love for people and feeling for them when something terrible happens. ruby has been an inspiration. YOU have been an inspiration. i pray every day that you will be comforted, and what a blessing it is to know that families are forever and that you will see sweet little Ruby again. i feel like i know you and your family after reading your blog for so long, and i can honestly say that i am a better person for having read about your lives. thank you for sharing it!
You don’t know me, but I heard your story through a friend of yours who is in my mommy group in Ventura. Ani, My heart goes out to you. You and your family have been in my thoughts non-stop and I wish there was something I could do to help you carry this burden, to make this all go away and bring your life back to normal. Your faith and positive attitude have inspired me to be a better mommy to my 6 mo old Mary. Every time I lay her down to sleep I whisper to her “Dream about the Angels” I have added your Sweet Ruby to the list of angels I wish for her to dream about. You will get through this as a family.
I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss. No matter how much we know about eternal families it is still hard. I can't imagine the heartache you are going through. You must be one strong woman to be given the challenge you have. Your story has touched a lot of people, including me. It makes me grateful for my 4 daughters and want to hold them close as much as I can.
Don't ever feel guilty for any feelings you have!
Hugs to you and your family.
Ani- the kind of mother you are has pulled on my heart strings and reminded me to relish in my children a little more and enjoy the moments, there are so many.
God speed beautiful Baby Ruby....
In relief society today we talked a little about death and someone said that mourning is the deepest form of love. I mourn for your loss. We share the same beliefs and I know that families are eternal. I hope that in these horrible, dreadful, unimaginably difficult times that you are comforted and can find peace. Thank you for helping me to be a better mother and find appreciation in the little things.
Just found your blog and I am so so so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family from NYC!
Baby Ruby has touched my heart, I have cried for your family. You do not know me but I wanted you to know that, we care for your family and as Sisters in Zion I feel for you and your family. Take care of that beautiful Kate. Love Colleen
I only found your blog a couple of days ago through a link someone posted on facebook...and now I cannot get you out of my head, and out of my heart. I am heavy with grief for you and for your family. Ruby was such a little angel, so adorable. All I want you to know is that I am crying for you, with you. I am thinking about Ruby and I have no doubt I will ALWAYS carry her story in my heart. And I have re-posted your blog on my blog so that others can pray for all of you, and remember sweet Ruby as well.
I have already left a comment, but wanted you to know that I have not been able to stop thinking about you sweet little girl, Ruby, and the rest of your family. I prayed for all of you today at Church. I think I will always remember you and Ruby even though we have never met. I sure wish there was something I could have done. I truly believe there was a plan for Ruby and she is now happy, healthy and carrying out the plan.
Thank you for your sweet testimony. We ache for you. We know that that sweetness and happiness will come in time. Thank you for sharing your experience. You are in our prayers and hearts.
Ani and Matt,
I just got directed to your blog from Natalie Norton's blog and my heart literally aches for you and the loss of your precious Ruby. I can only imagine the pain that you must be feeling- but I want you to know that I will be praying for the Taylor family. I hope that you will feel our Heavenly Father's love during theses difficult days/weeks/and months ahead. Much love!
Although we've never met, I love your beautiful Ruby and family and have been praying for you. My heart aches for your family. I continue to pray for you.
So so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby Ruby Jane. I learned of your baby's story through a friend who donated her liver to her niece who had biliary artesia.
Your pain must be tremendous. I'll pray for your family.
I am so sorry. She was beautiful.
i am truly sorry for the loss of your beautiful, sweet baby girl. your post on august 1, 2010 entitle "perspective" has changed my life. i am the mother of four young kids and i will never again take one second with them for granted. thank you for sharing your story. your faith and strength is inspiring. your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Tonight I will kiss my sweet baby one more time before bed and squeeze my 4 year old a little tighter because of your brave story. I am praying for you from the other side of the country. I will never look at my normal, boring life the same way again.
Taylor Family...I am sorry to read of Ruby's passing. But I am thankful you know you will be reunited with her one day. Coming from a mother who, too, has a child in Heaven, I hope you truly believe you will be together once more. My prayer: May the Lord comfort you today and the days to follow. May you feel His strong and safe arms holding you close. When you have moments that are filled with much sadness and tears (and you will), may you turn to Him who loves you deeply and understands your grief ever so much. And may the Lord feel you with a peace that surpasses all understanding. Lastly, I pray you also find comfort in family and close friends as the Lord provided them at this time just for you. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Sending prayers up high and comfort to you... I am so, so sorry.
i am so so sorry for your loss it truly breaks my heart. You will be in my prayers and I will continue to be a better mother to my baby girls I will hold my babies a little tighter. I hope you and your family find comfort in the weeks to come.
I found your blog through the Mormon Bachelorette...I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
So glad I had the chance to know little Ruby's story, because of her me & my husband signed up to donate life. So really there is 1 added to the total votes so far (937) since we can only vote once. And im sure that goes for more across the country. Look at that number 937 and not even 10 days ago it was 100.. Miracles will happen for so many others because your little Ruby. So much love to your family! So glad Ruby has been able to rest from the exhausting fight she fought. Now she is in amazing hands, can you imagine all the people who waited for her to arrive? All the people who prayed for her on earth have family in heaven that stood at the gate with open arms.
So sorry for your loss. I too am LDS with a special needs child and have been shown your blog from my son Hayden's friend Jett who posted it on his mommie's blog babyboypenny. Families can be together forever for those who want it. So many parents give up on their children for selfish reasons. You gave everything you could. God bless your whole family.
I just stumbled upon your blog & I am in tears reading the heart break you are feeling. I cant imagine. Your Ruby girl is so precious & she is free of all her pains. I don't feel like words can console such one from losing a child, but I had to comment to say you are brave, & seem to be loved by so many. Your family will be in my prayers. This too shall pass.
I cant even begin to say how sorry I am for your loss. I have been thinking about all of you non stop for weeks now, I have two little girls 3 and 15 months and my heart aches for you and what you are going through, I am sending a little something for Kate, hoping it will give her a little distraction because I cant imagine what she is feeling right now being so young and im sure not fully understanding what is going on. I wanted to help in what little way I could. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
So heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. I'm sure this feels like a bad dream that won't seem to end. But be strong and be proud that Ruby and your family have changed so many lives for the better. My heart aches for you all at this time. You are in my prayers!
We have been praying for your family for months now and we are continuing to pray for your family. I can't imagine the pain you are going through right now. Ruby has inspired me to be more patient to my little ones. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. Your family is so strong.
I do not know you or your family, but I too have been touched by your faith and openess. This blog isn't a story, it's your reality as harsh and real as it gets. I appreciate your courage to share it with everyone, I just wonder how many lives will be saved by those inspired to be donors because of Ruby and your family. It would sure be nice to see the entire picture that our father in heaven has laid out for us, but I guess that's were our faith comes in.
Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
by Rossiter Worthington Raymond
Although you may not have the ability to see Ruby right now....she is with you. May our father in heaven comfort you and give you the strength to endure.
Thank you for sharing your story and being such a wonderful example of a Latter-Day Saint.
I believe your faith will bring many open hearts and contrite spirits to the gospel.
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