Starting again...

I let 2015 pass without a single post. How did that happen? This space has been confusing for me. I use to blog so much when Kate was a baby. I love looking back on her every milestone. And then it was my outlet when Ruby was sick. I have gone back looking for something twice, and read entries from when Ruby was sick, and it really sent me into a tailspin. I am almost afraid of opening these "pages" in my book. The pain of losing Ruby will never go away, but reading about the details of her struggle are often times too much for my heart. This blog became hers in those 7 months. I am happy that I was able to share her story, to write down her stories, to preserve her memory from her mother's perspective. 

I would like to start writing here again. I want to chronicle these years I have with my little girls, because they are fleeting. They will never be this little again. I want to bottle their childhood up as much as I am able! 

Ruby is always with us. She is with us when we have big family events. She is with us when we watch the sunset every night at the beach. She is with us when we have crazy dance parties in the kitchen. She is always there, even if we can't see her.  She wants us to live fully, dream wild, and love fiercely. Now, I just need to start recording it all again! 

Potty Training

It's a big day for Lola Bloom! Kate has been trying to months to get her excited about potty training. She has spent a few minutes sitting on the little potty chair, but mostly asking about the Sesame Street Characters on the seat. Today she stood up while eating breakfast and declared she needed to go potty. We went in, she sat down and wanted to get down immediately. I told her I would go get my phone for her to play on. When I got back, her eyes were huge and she screamed, "I pooped!" And sure enough, she had. We did a lot of clapping and dancing and hugging! She followed me into the kitchen so I could give her two M&Ms, and then said, "I poop again!" I turned around, and yup, she had pooped again, on the rug, and then proceeded to step in it! She might be out third kiddo, but every milestone is just as exciting as the first time around. Even when it involves poop! I never want to forget how proud she was of herself.

She should have...

She should have started preschool today. We should have gone school shopping and picked out the perfect outfit, probably a dress. I would have put out the “You Are Special Today”, plate, and made her her favorite breakfast. I don’t even know what that would have been. Pancakes? Waffles? Oatmeal? I would have given her a bath, and made sure she was squeaky clean to meet her teacher for the first time. I would have combed her hair, and put a pretty bow in. She would have stood on our front porch, holding the chalkboard. It would have read, “1^st Day of Preschool”. I would have taken pictures, one with me and her, one with her and her dad, and one with all three girls. She would have put her little dimpled hand in mine and we would have walked across the street to the preschool. She would have been nervous, and probably a little excited. I would have been a nervous wreck, wondering if she would be ok out of my care for those few hours twice a week.  I would have watched her sit on the floor, with the other kids, listening to a book, and probably glancing back every so often to make sure I was still there. She should have started preschool today. But she didn’t.

Every day I miss her, but it is days like today, that I know exactly what I am missing out on. I know where we would have been, and what we would be doing today. So today, instead of crying with the other moms that our babies are starting preschool, I am at home, crying that she isn’t.

Serve Together

From:http://www.linesacross.com/2013/05/free-printable-albert-einstein-quotes.html

I have started a project that is all about service. I wanted to share it here, and invite you to follow the project on Instagram, @servetogether. There is also a blog: www.projectservetogether.blogspot.com
Here is a little summary about what we are doing.

--------

We have found a lot of happiness by serving others as a family. 

Serving together has amazing power to strength relationships and heal broken hearts. 

We want to see love and service spread. 

Each week, we will be suggesting an act of service, and challenging everyone to participate.

We want to SEE the service happening!  We want to see pictures, videos, and stories! It is inspiring to see other serve around us, and far from us. We are all able to serve in someway. Let's share our experinces, and learn from eachother.

 Love and kindness and joy will increase in our homes and in our families.

Most of the acts of service are things you will be able to do with children. Each week will be a new idea. It would be fun to see these acts of service being performed all over. 

Follow @servetogether on Instagram, and use the hashtag #projectservetogether

We will be going through the pictures and would love to share a service experience each week.

As we share our experiences with friends and families, we will help spread the spirit of service!

Somedays are just hard

Some days are harder than others. But to be honest, any day that you have a child in Heaven is a hard day. It might not appear that I am having a hard (or harder) day to others, but it doesn’t mean I am not having one. I have just gotten really practiced at hiding the pain. Why hide the pain? Because it makes people uncomfortable is the simple answer. I mean, can you imagine casually asking someone, “How are you?” and having them reply honestly? My honest answer would be something like, “My heart is aching and my throat feels really tight today when I think of my daughter.”  For whatever reason we all try to act like everything is fine, so that is what I try to do most days.

But then there are the days when I can’t pretend it is ok.  The day I saw a rant on Facebook about someone’s misbehaved 3.5 year old…The day we met with the headstone company…The day I cleaned out the pantry and found baby food covered in a layer of dust pushed to the far back…. Those days feel like I got sucker punched in the gut. Literally, it physically hurts.  Those days leave me doubled over in pain and with deep sobs coming form the part of your soul only your child can fill. Those moments feel like panic, and anxiety, and fear. And then usually my sweet 6 year old pulls me out of that place with insistent questions of, “Mom, are you crying? Why are you crying? Do you miss Ruby? I do to. It is ok! We will see her again someday. Please stop crying mommy. Your mascara is running!”

After those moments, (and I have wiped my mascara off!) I feel more connected to Ruby. It is necessary for my soul to feel the raw anguish of losing part of it’s self.  I don’t like to get to that point of grief very often, because I don’t like to focus on the “death” part. I have really been able to separate her life and her death in my mind and in my memories of her.

I wonder about Ruby a lot. I wonder if she feels the longing for us, like we do for her? It must be different where she is. She must see the bigger picture and have more patience for our reunion. I wonder if she misses me holding her? Her sister playing with her? Her Dad talking sweetly to her? I have to think she does.

I know all things will be made right one day. I hold on to that. My loses will be returned to me.

Until then, we have faith. We have hope. We have memories, and we have a perfect little daughter watching over us, and waiting for us. And we have two more little daughters keeping us in the present here. I am so thankful that God has given me these three girls. I feel the deepest amount of appreciation to be their mother. 

Grief is...

Grief is unexpected. 

You can never be prepared to handle grief. It comes sudden for some, and for others is looms in the shadows; creeping in slowly. However it arrives, it is never welcome. 

Grief is physical.

 It is not just the emotion of intense sadness...it actually physically hurts. It feels like a ton of bricks pushing down on your chest. It feels like the moment you lost your child at the park, but it never goes away. It feels like a nightmare, but it is real life. 

Grief is to be endured. 

There are no short cuts. You can't go around, under or over grief. It is there, like an unwelcome guest, that will never go away. Grief cannot be escaped. 

Grief is lonely. 

There are thousands of books, talks, and suggestions...but none just for you. Grief is personal, individual and different for everyone. No one has lost what you have. You can grieve along side someone, but there is no sharing your portion of pain or heaviness. 

Grief is love.

 It is because we love so deeply and intense that we then grieve so deeply and intense. The only way to avoid grief is to not love. The love we have for those we have lost, outweighs the grief. Always. 

Happiness

Kate is off at school. I just laid Lola down for a nap. Matt is at work. The sun is shining and the wind is blowing through my bedroom window. I am happy. I was just making my bed and I just had an overwhelming feeling of happiness and my first thought was to thank my Father in Heaven for the prayers he has answered, and the blessings I have been given. And then I felt like I needed to write. So, here I am. 

Those things I am thankful for today, may seem really insignificant, but for me it is a big, fat, deal. It means that life is returning to our {new} normal for the Taylor family. To me it means that I have a healthy, smart and joyful Kindergartner that loves to go to school, learn, play and be social. It means that I have been blessed with a perfectly healthy, happy, and darling baby girl that gets to be with me all day long in my home. It means that my husband has a job (after 7 months of being unemployed!), a promising career, and is providing for our family. 

After the trials we have been through, we are happy for anything at this point! We have learned to find joy and happiness in the small things, and feel extremely blessed for the bigger things. We are able to recognized that everything, EVERYTHING, is a gift and a blessing from Heavenly Father. 

We are also able to recognize that the things that have been taken away from us, are not a punishment, but a trial, given to us from a loving Heavenly Father. He loves us, he does not leave us, and he will always, ALWAYS, bless us. God is good. 

I am thankful for today.

Milestones

Lola Bloom, 7 months old

Milestones. They are always there. They haunt. They creep up, they linger, and sometimes they scream in your face. 

I have been dreading this milestone for a long time, even before I was pregnant with Lola. Lola is older than Ruby was when she passed away at 7 months and 1 week. It might sound silly and insignificant, but I thought about that date creeping up on us a lot. The anticipation of these dates are usually harder than the actual day. 

The past couple of months as Lola has reached the size that Ruby was, I would be bathing her, or changing her diaper, or lotioning up her little sturdy body, and my heart would just break. I would look at her perfect tiny body and without any warning I would have flashbacks of Ruby's precious little body. When I think of all that she went through physically at such a young age, I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry. Ruby has been gone for 2 and half years, and sometimes she seems larger than life. Does that make sense? So when I really look at Lola, and think that Ruby was here just like Lola is now, and she was as small as Lola is, and went through so much. It makes my mama's heart break over and over again. 

When we woke up to Lola's 7 month, 1 week, and 1 day birthday, I felt gratitude. It was an  unexpected emotion. I was bracing myself for fear, for regret, for longing and pain, but it was just gratitude. That day was a day I never got with Ruby. It is a blessing that we have our Lola. WE KNOW how precious each day is. So the fact that we had this extra day with Lola that we missed with Ruby, was a big deal for me. 

We went to Disneyland as a family. We had fun together, watched the fireworks, and thought a lot about our 2nd little daughter that we wished was there.

We have been through the first of a lot of things now, and that feels like a big accomplishment in our grief. We survived the first holidays, birthday, angel day, the birth of a new baby, and this new milestone.

Every day I miss Ruby, and every day I look at Kate and Lola and know just how lucky I am to have them here with me.

3

Today is my Ruby's 3rd Birthday. 

The anticipation of these hard days seem to be always worse than the actual day. 

The past two birthdays, we have celebrated with the Run for Ruby. We have been so busy and stressed with the big event, that we had little time to feel sad. 

This year was different. We didn't have any grand plans, but I knew that I wanted to do something to celebrate on Saturday. We ended up going to Islands for dinner, and we brought along Ruby's picture, at Kate's request. We even told the waiter we were celebrating a birthday, and had a yummy treat and sang to Ruby('s picture). 

 

We decided that Ruby would have liked to go to Chuck E Cheese, so we spent the rest of the night playing games and winning tickets. As we were getting out of the car at Chuck E Cheese, I realized that we had taken Ruby and Kate there when Ruby was about a month old. I like to be places that she has been before. It just felt right that we celebrated there. 

Last night I made a quick run to Target alone to get a few things for a picnic for today. I started to feel a little sorry for myself as I was picking out some party plates in the birthday isle. I don't often feel like that. I am sad that things happened the way they did. I wish it were different, but right then and there I felt so sorry for myself. I felt pathetic. I was really hoping no one would asking about the party decor in my cart. I felt embarrassed, but why should I? It is my baby girl's birthday, and it will be celebrated! I even went to the toy isle and picked out a birthday gift for Ruby with the intention of donating it to another 3 year old. After a stop at the grocery story to pick up a "3" balloon, I asked Matt to get the birthday box down, and then staid up decorating! It felt good. It felt right. Ruby is part of our family, her birth is worth celebrating! I went to bed feeling a little less sad by going through the motions that I would have normally done, had she still been here. 

Today was very peaceful. I know that there were many that were thinking about our family, and praying for us, and I truly felt those prayers. We visited Ruby's place, and had a picnic. We brought flowers, and balloons, cupcakes and candles! We had our very own little birthday party, in the middle of the cemetery. After we sang "Happy Birthday", Kate was making her way over to the candles to blow them out for Ruby, when the wind (read: Ruby) blew them all out!

Usually I am ready to leave after we have been there for a while, but today was different. I didn't want to leave. I just felt so peaceful at her place. I think I must have felt her near. It was such a different feeling than I normally have there. The sun was setting, and the breeze was blowing her balloons around, and I just wanted to stay, and keep that feeling. 

I am so thankful for my sweet Ruby girl, and the gift that she continues to be to our whole family. 

Happy Birthday Ruby!

XO

Missing

Two years. Two years since I have cuddled my baby. My Tiny. Two years ago was the darkest day of my life. It felt like the darkest day that could have possibly ever been. Ruby was back and forth from this world to the next, and we could feel it. It was a terrible, gut wrenching experience to see life slipping from my infant child. I wasn't ready. I had not given up. Selfish? Maybe. But, 7 months is too short. Any amount of time would have been too short to be with my Ruby girl. I have tried to live in the present, especially since Lola joined our family. I have been able to reflect on the happy times with Ruby, but today is hard. Today, two years ago is hard to forget, even though I have prayed and prayed to forget.  

Ruby Lous for Ruby Jane

I am really excited to announce a special project that has been organized for The Ruby Jane Foundation. Two amazing ladies, Sharee from the blog A Piano Teacher Revealed and Abby from Sew Much Ado, have put a lot of time and effort into this great project in honor of Ruby during her Angel month. 

Abby is the creator of the darling Ruby Lou Doll Pattern, and Sharee made one of these dolls with her daughter, and couldn't stop thinking about our Ruby as she made it. From there, this project was born! Throughout the entire month of August, Abby at Sew-Much-Ado is going to donate the full profit of all Ruby Lou Doll Pattern purchases to The Ruby Jane Foundation!  

This is a great project for beginner to intermediate sewers. My daughter Kate and I will be making one together this month. It is the perfect project to do with your child! 

There is one last part of this project, one that I am the most excited about. If you would like to make your doll, and then send it to us, we are going to be donating them around the holidays, to the sweet girls that are in the hospital where Ruby was. 

We are so grateful for these amazing ladies, and their talent and time in making this project happen. Continuing Ruby's legacy is something that brings us so much comfort and peace, and it is so much easier to do this when we have earthly angels here to help us. 

 

I hope you will join us this August, in honor of Ruby, and spend some time making a Ruby Lou Doll, for your child, with your child, or for a child that would sure love a darling little doll to cuddle while in the hospital.

If you keep your doll, we would love to see a picture of the finished product! Abby has also made it possible to purchase the pattern as a gift.

You can purchase the Ruby Lou Doll Pattern(for $9) at: Sew Much Ado

Our Mailing Address to send finished dolls is:

The Ruby Jane Foundation

PO Box 505

Trabuco Canyon, CA 92678

Photos courtesy of Kyla Beth Photo Studio.

Lola Bloom Taylor

On July 2nd, 2013, we welcomed Lola Bloom Taylor to our family! 

She was born at 3:59pm, after 8 hours of labor. She weighed 10 pounds 4 ounces, and was 21 inches long! She is healthy, and beautiful, and we could not feel more blessed with her joining our family!

We are all adjusting really well. Kate is beyond thrilled to have a baby in the house again, and to pick up her sisterly duties again. She is a good helper, fetching diapers and burp cloths, and holding the baby every chance she gets. She loves to kiss her sweet little face, just like Matt and I! 

Matt is so in love with his third little girl. He is so good with babies. I can so clearly recall his face at all three of our children's births, with the biggest smile and teary eyed. He is such a good dad, and husband. When the baby wakes up at night, he pops up to grab her, changes her diaper, and brings her to me to feed. I love watching him with our girls! 

I am doing really well too. It was a surprisingly easy recovery, considering her size! It feels SO good to be back into the busy mom mode. As crazy as it feels sometimes, it is what I am suppose to be doing at this time in my life, and it makes me really happy. One night we started at 7:45, trying to get both girls in bed and asleep, and it was after 11 before they were both asleep at the same time. I knew I should have felt frustrated, but I just couldn't. I just felt so thankful to have these girls to be busy with. I know the frustration and exhaustion will eventually creep back in at some point, but for now, we are just savoring this time and enjoying every moment, even the fussy ones! 

Our home has felt so different since Lola Bloom has arrived. It has been peaceful and happy, and I feel Ruby close. When the baby smiles in her sleep, I like to think she is dreaming about Ruby.
We have been thinking and talking about Ruby a lot lately, and miss her SO much. There is still an empty place, that no amount of children, will be able to fill in our lives, but I am happy that Lola has created her own spot in our family.  Lola is the perfect addition to our family, and we are so in love with her!

We haven't been this happy in a long time. She is such a blessing.

A little Blessing coming our way

 

 

I feel like we are right on the cusp of something great. We have suffered the loss of so much over the past two years, and I feel like we are finally being given a tangible blessing. There has been many spiritual blessings, but it seems as though the physical blessings of our life keep slipping through our hands. 

Our third daughter is due to be born in 4 days. It has been a very long, expensive, emotional, and just flat out hard road getting to this point. There was a time that we were told we would not be able to have any more children. I remember the exact moment when our doctor called to tell us that. I remember driving around one day, when I thought of a perfect baby girl name, and then fell apart thinking I may never get to use that name. I also remember the exact moment when another doctor told us it would still be possible to have more children. 

I can't believe that we have gotten all the way to this point. I love to think about Ruby preparing her baby sister to enter into our family. Preparing room mentally and physically for another child, especially another daughter has been very emotionally charged. I kept pushing off "nesting". Up until about a month ago, I had no even bought this baby one thing! I think the walls that I have built to protect my heart were so strong, that it was hard to even want to let this new baby in. The last time I did all of this baby stuff, the outcome was so traumatic and heartbreaking, that it has been hard to convince my heart that it will be different this time. 

I had been praying so hard to feel prepared. To feel the right amount of excitement, and worry. Praying to let my walls down, and really accept we are having another baby, and that she will be healthy. It just seemed too good to be true, after everything. Shortly after my pleading, we had a very special spiritual experience, an undeniable sign from our Ruby, that changed everything. I realized that Ruby doesn't care if her room is changed. She doesn't care if I finally wipe the Tylenol smudges off her dresser, or pack away some of her things. She is excited for our family to welcome another baby, and I know that she wanted me to bask in the joy that a newborn brings. 

I was able to finally change her room. I kept walking in the nursery, and then walking right back out. Late one night I asked my husband to go in with me. We started in her top drawer, where her size 1 diapers were perfectly arranged, and never used. I had opened the drawer a lot of over the past 2 years. Those diapers made my heart hurt. It made me angry that I put them in there with the intention of using them on my baby girl, and there they sat. But you know what? Men are wired a little different! He didn't' have an emotional connection to unused diapers! Thank goodness! So he moved the size 1's and replaced with with the Newborn size. I thought, "Ok, we are really doing this...I can do this!" We moved on to the next drawer, where her clothes were. The first outfit I picked up I buried my face in, and cried and cried. I could imagine all the times she had worn it. It made everything seem so recent. So real. So tangible. I am glad I had my strong and sweet husband there with me. He knew the outfit. He knew the pain. We carefully folded our favorite outfits and blankets of hers, and set them aside. It got easier and easier as we kept going throughout the night. I think that Ruby was there with us. The feeling in the room was so peaceful and happy and almost sacred. The next day Kate helped me remove Ruby's bedding, and wipe down the crib, and put the new bedding on. It was very therapeutic for our whole family to prepare this new room, for the new little sister and daughter that was making her way to us. Ruby's nursery is where I have gone to grief for her. It is where she has felt close. I was scared to change that space, losing that physical connection to her. But it still feels like her room, only she is sharing it with the new baby. I like walking in there and thinking about those sisters together. 

We are ready for this baby girl to arrive. Ruby will never be replaced, but we are very excited to have a baby in the house again. Often people have tried to tell me that we will be healed, and this baby will make up for our loss. I know it is not true, but I do believe that the blessing of this sweet baby to our family, will fill our hearts with love and joy and happiness!  We can't wait for Tuesday!

It's quiet in the nursery
Too quiet for my heart
Dust on the changing table
Toys unplayed with in the corner

I rock myself in your chair
Trying to remember your weight in my arms
If I close my eyes I can almost smell you
The memories of this room are sweet

Your little sister is nearly here
She grows beneath my broken heart
Making room for her has not been easy
You will no longer be my littlest baby

The missing is deep and the pain is real
Longing for you is part of my normal day
Wishing things were different

Hoping its a bad dream

This nursery is quiet tonight
Soon it will be again filled with cries and giggles
As she grows beneath my broken heart, she is slowly healing me

Your sister

I rock in your chair
Feeling the weight not in my arms, but in my womb
Her fluttery movements remind me life keeps going
Life keeps growing

Each day, experience, memory and ache
One day closer to you in my arms once again
A quiet nursery tonight
But only for a moment

"In His Hands"

About a month after Ruby passed away, while Kate was at her first day of preschool, two bereaved mothers were going to come over to talk with me. I saw them walk up the sidewalk, talking and smiling. I thought it seemed to odd that they could be smiling. They knocked and I stood on the opposite side of the door, trying to compose myself when I heard them "chit chatting".  I so clearly remember thinking, "I am going to smile and chit chat again one day?" It was such a foreign idea to my broken heart and spirit, but it gave me hope.

Jenny Hess was one of those mothers. She very suddenly and traumatically lost her dear 4 year old son Russell, while on a family vacation. It has been 5 years since he returned to Heaven, and Jenny just finished an amazing book called, "In His Hands."

Talking to parents who have also lost children, has been very comforting to me. It is painful to hear their stories, but there is a similarity in the pain, a thread that so violently runs through each of our hearts, that bonds us to each other.  I have been pretty "comfortable" in my grieving for the past while. I haven't had very many major breakdowns, and I haven't been reaching out for comfort like I needed to those first few months and year. As I started Jenny's book, I realized how lonely I had been. As I read her words, her experiences, her feelings, her fears, her hopes, her dreams, her doubts, her struggles and triumphs, I felt like I was reading my own heart.

Grieve is such a lonely road most of the time. There is no going around it, under it, or over it. The only way is through it. Everyone grieves differently, and that can make it feel like you have to travel the road alone. While reading "In His Hands" I realized that those of of that are grieving are all on the same trail, we are trudging through the thick mud, side by side, but we all have a different way of trudging.

I have read so many books on loss and grief that I have lost count of them. They all left me feeling like I was failing in my struggle, and I needed to hurry on with this process and be healed. Jenny's book, is real and honest. Her wound is fresh, and she knows it will never fully "heal".  It is validating to hear someone share her feelings so openly. I felt as though I was given permission to take my time, fully feel the pain, and not feel rushed or guilty for it.

Jenny has given me hope. I look at her, and I see a happy person. I see a person that has learned from her experience, and continues to learn and change and grown each day she faces with out her child.

I highly recommend her book to everyone. No matter what struggle you are facing, there is always joy at the end. "In His Hands", though sad, has inspired me, and left me feeling hope, peace and comfort.

To learn more about Jenny, and her journey, watch this beautiful video.

Organ Donation

Imagine holding your three month old child, and hearing the words, “Liver failure.” It was the worst day of my life to that point. I waited to hear the plan. I listened to hear what medications would cure her. I braced myself to hear the hefty cost of treatment. I even imagined the list of surgeries she would need, as a team of 15 or more people filled our hospital room one cool afternoon in April. I had been nursing Ruby when they walked in. They didn’t waste much time in sharing the diagnosis, and as it sounded more and more serious, I felt myself wanting to tuck Ruby deeper under my nursing cover. Only seconds before I had been looking into her eyes, dismissing the yellowish tint, while reminding myself, “Bad things don’t happen to good people.”

It didn’t take long to notice that most of the white coats in the room had the blue words, “Liver Transplant” embroidered under their names. They must have the wrong room. Transplant? As in an organ transplant? I listened, and learned, and felt my heart break into a million pieces as it was explained that our tiny daughter would need a liver transplant to make it to her first birthday. No cure? No medication? No treatments? She needs a liver transplant to survive. As a parent, it is our sole purpose to keep our children safe. It is our responsibility to provide what they don’t have. Looking at my sick daughter, and realizing that I was completely useless in making her better, was one of the darkest feelings I have ever felt.

Some comfort came when we learned we could be tested to be a living donor for her. That comfort was quickly replaced with anger and frustration, as myself, my husband, and a few others were tested, and all turned away as a matches. The small portion they would need from our livers, were each too large for her tiny body. She needed a child sized organ. So we waited. And waited. We waited mostly while in the hospital, our small family trying to stick together through the hardest of times.

We waited for a call. We waited for someone to come into our room, and say, “We found a donor! Someone is giving Ruby the gift of life!” We were waiting and praying for someone to make a hard choice, in an even harder situation. We didn’t know who they were, or what terrible events would leave them with the choice to donate their child’s organs to Ruby, but we prayed so hard for them in their grief, and that they would say “yes”.

We waited for 4 months, until Ruby’s little body grew too tired, and too sick to keep fighting. She passed away one week after she turned 7 months old. No one said, “yes”. No one was willing to donate to our sick, tired, and sweet daughter. There was a cure for Ruby. But we couldn’t pay for it. We couldn’t find it in a foreign land, tucked away in a tropical jungle. We couldn’t beg, borrow or steal for it. We couldn’t even ask for it! We just had to wait. Wait for a stranger to decide to say “yes”, and save our daughter’s life. I never imagined, even in my nightmares, that we would run out of time. I had so much hope.

The time to learn about organ donation is now. Making the choice to donate a loved ones organs needs to be made before being placed in the awful position to decide.
If we would be willing to accept an organ to save our life, shouldn’t we be also willing to give?

For more information please visit this website: Donate Life 

If you live in California, and would like to register as a donor, you can do so through Ruby, HERE!