She should have started preschool today. We should have gone
school shopping and picked out the perfect outfit, probably a dress. I would
have put out the “You Are Special Today”, plate, and made her her favorite
breakfast. I don’t even know what that would have been. Pancakes? Waffles?
Oatmeal? I would have given her a bath, and made sure she was squeaky clean to
meet her teacher for the first time. I would have combed her hair, and put a
pretty bow in. She would have stood on our front porch, holding the chalkboard.
It would have read, “1st Day of Preschool”. I would have taken
pictures, one with me and her, one with her and her dad, and one with all three
girls. She would have put her little dimpled hand in mine and we would have
walked across the street to the preschool. She would have been nervous, and
probably a little excited. I would have been a nervous wreck, wondering if she
would be ok out of my care for those few hours twice a week. I would have watched her sit on the floor,
with the other kids, listening to a book, and probably glancing back every so
often to make sure I was still there. She should have started preschool today.
But she didn’t.
Every day I miss her, but it is days like today, that I know
exactly what I am missing out on. I know where we would have been, and what we
would be doing today. So today, instead of crying with the other moms that our
babies are starting preschool, I am at home, crying that she isn’t.
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14 comments:
Bless your heart Ani, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry Ani. Big hugs to you.
You don't know me, but my friend introduced me to your blog and I just had to reach out and say thank you for sharing your journey. I lost my little Ellie Jane last week and am still trying to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other. Reading the words of others who understand the pain makes me feel less alone. Thank you.
I am so sorry. My heart aches for you.
So sorry. It's just not fair. Frankly it sucks! Sweet Ruby Jane. Such a beauty. To pure for this world.
beautifully written, Ani. I think of your family these days.
I miss hearing your blog voice Ani...your sweet Ruby is resting in paradise in the comfort of the lord....I've prayed for your family for years and I will continue to pray for your sweet Taylor family..May Ruby's presence be felt around you today, tomorrow and always until your family is eternally reunited
I can only imagine this pain. I'm so sorry you and your family have to endure this. Please know I think about Ruby and your family often.
:)
We think of you and Ruby often. Prayers for peace and comfort on days like September 9. Days where you know exactly what you are missing out on. Know that so many of us have been touched by the story of sweet Ruby.
Ani, I just want you to know how much you and Ruby, and your entire family, have impacted my life! I think I came across Ruby's story back when Bows for Ruby was going on. You and Ruby come to mind often and when you do I always sit down at the computer to see if you've what you've written lately. You inspire me to really enjoy every moment with my children, even the hard ones. You inspire me to cherish every day. Thank you. Your precious Ruby could not be more blessed with the family she was born into and is a part of. Love to you! :)
Ani, I have followed your story for awhile now. I have a sister that passed away before I was born. She was 4 years old when she went to heaven. I never knew her (well at least not on Earth) I grew up going to the cemetery every Sunday to visit her. It was always a place of sacredness for my family. Other people think its weird that I am so comfortable at cemeteries, I think it was wonderful that my parents kept her so close to us. I hope you all do the same with your sweet Ruby girl. Her sisters should find peace in visiting her. I am sending you so much love and many prayers. May the heavens open up and continue to shower your family with love and hope and peace.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey, even when it is painful. (((Hugs))
Love you Ani. We love Ruby and try to live our lives fuller each day because of her legacy. Wish she was physically here for you to love on, but I know she is with you and will be again. Sending loves your way.
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