Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Organ Donation

Imagine holding your three month old child, and hearing the words, “Liver failure.” It was the worst day of my life to that point. I waited to hear the plan. I listened to hear what medications would cure her. I braced myself to hear the hefty cost of treatment. I even imagined the list of surgeries she would need, as a team of 15 or more people filled our hospital room one cool afternoon in April. I had been nursing Ruby when they walked in. They didn’t waste much time in sharing the diagnosis, and as it sounded more and more serious, I felt myself wanting to tuck Ruby deeper under my nursing cover. Only seconds before I had been looking into her eyes, dismissing the yellowish tint, while reminding myself, “Bad things don’t happen to good people.”

It didn’t take long to notice that most of the white coats in the room had the blue words, “Liver Transplant” embroidered under their names. They must have the wrong room. Transplant? As in an organ transplant? I listened, and learned, and felt my heart break into a million pieces as it was explained that our tiny daughter would need a liver transplant to make it to her first birthday. No cure? No medication? No treatments? She needs a liver transplant to survive. As a parent, it is our sole purpose to keep our children safe. It is our responsibility to provide what they don’t have. Looking at my sick daughter, and realizing that I was completely useless in making her better, was one of the darkest feelings I have ever felt.

Some comfort came when we learned we could be tested to be a living donor for her. That comfort was quickly replaced with anger and frustration, as myself, my husband, and a few others were tested, and all turned away as a matches. The small portion they would need from our livers, were each too large for her tiny body. She needed a child sized organ. So we waited. And waited. We waited mostly while in the hospital, our small family trying to stick together through the hardest of times.
We waited for a call. We waited for someone to come into our room, and say, “We found a donor! Someone is giving Ruby the gift of life!” We were waiting and praying for someone to make a hard choice, in an even harder situation. We didn’t know who they were, or what terrible events would leave them with the choice to donate their child’s organs to Ruby, but we prayed so hard for them in their grief, and that they would say “yes”.

We waited for 4 months, until Ruby’s little body grew too tired, and too sick to keep fighting. She passed away one week after she turned 7 months old. No one said, “yes”. No one was willing to donate to our sick, tired, and sweet daughter. There was a cure for Ruby. But we couldn’t pay for it. We couldn’t find it in a foreign land, tucked away in a tropical jungle. We couldn’t beg, borrow or steal for it. We couldn’t even ask for it! We just had to wait. Wait for a stranger to decide to say “yes”, and save our daughter’s life. I never imagined, even in my nightmares, that we would run out of time. I had so much hope.

The time to learn about organ donation is now. Making the choice to donate a loved ones organs needs to be made before being placed in the awful position to decide.
If we would be willing to accept an organ to save our life, shouldn’t we be also willing to give?

For more information please visit this website: Donate Life 
If you live in California, and would like to register as a donor, you can do so through Ruby, HERE!

9 comments:

Becky said...

Your sweet and beautiful Ruby inspired me to finally register as a donor? I am sure Ruby has touched more lives for good than you could possibly imagine. Thank you!

delovelydetails said...

My family too waited for a liver that never came for my dad. I think of you and your family all the time. I hope to see you at the run in Fullerton, I will be there in honor of my dad. http://www.delovelydetails.com/2013/04/donate-life-month-2013.html

delovelydetails said...

My family waited to for a liver that never came, for my dad. I think about you and your family all the time. I hope to see you at the run in Fullerton next weekend. http://www.delovelydetails.com/2013/04/donate-life-month-2013.html

Ali W. said...

Ani, you don't know me, but I have been reading your blog for forever and I love you and your little family! I pray for you guys almost every night. I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through, but I just have to tell you that you four are amazing examples to me. You have inspired me to be a better wife, mom, and especially to enjoy and appreciate the things that would seem ordinary or even inconvenient. We love Ruby and we love your family! And congratulations on baby #3! :)

P.S. I think throughout both my pregnancy sicknesses I have probably read like your entire blog. You are hilarious and I seriously think we would be friends in real life! :)

Ali W. said...

Ani, you don't know me, but I have been reading your blog for forever and I love you and your little family! I pray for you guys almost every night. I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through, but I just have to tell you that you four are amazing examples to me. You have inspired me to be a better wife, mom, and especially to enjoy and appreciate the things that would seem ordinary or even inconvenient. We love Ruby and we love your family! And congratulations on baby #3! :)

P.S. I think throughout both my pregnancy sicknesses I have probably read like your entire blog. You are hilarious and I seriously think we would be friends in real life! :)

Lindsey H said...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting so candidly. I live in Northern CA and came across your blog after your essay was on NieNie's blog. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I read post after post at that time but since then, I hadn't really returned. Fast forward almost a year and now I am carrying a very sick baby who has heart disease and a diaphragmatic hernia which will both need risky surgery after I deliver in July. We too are LDS and take strength in the Gospel and hold tight to faith in miracles. Tonight, as I once again went through the "have faith but also prepare for possible realities" cycle, I randomly thought of you again and your sweet Ruby and caught up on all that I had missed. I know that as of today, I don't have a lost child but I still feel strengthened by your words and your testimony. Thank you Ruby and thank you Ani.

Brynn said...

Love you!

Paula said...

Thought of you the other day, Ani. A teenager in our school district died tragically after suffering trauma to the head playing rugby. She was the team captain. She had just recently obtained her licence and, according to her parents, one of the first things she did was check off the organ donation box. In losing her life, she saved four others. That's quite something......

Holly said...

I just thought you should know you are still being thought about and prayed for. Ruby's picture hangs on my fridge and reminds me of the mommy I need and want to be and to everyday be grateful for even the tiniest things. I hope you are well.