There is no me if I cannot have you

I know for a fact that Ruby was sent to our family for a reason.

I love that little girl more than any words even dare express.

She is special. She is loved. She is a fighter. I am so privileged to be her mother.

Often times I lay here on my "bed" (couch) at the hospital, and look up into the sky. It is hard to turn of my mind when I am all alone here. One night as I was thinking about my sweet girl, I got the strongest feeling of peace and of confirmation, that I was doing what I was meant to do, and Ruby was meant to be my daughter. It was exactly what I needed in that moment of feeling inadequate.
Ruby has blessed our family beyond measure, in the short 5 (almost 6!) months she has been part of our lives. She instantly brightened our home with her tender spirit, and her sweet smile. She has given us the blessing of serving her. She has brought us closer to our families and friends. She literally, has drawn thousands to prayer, on her behalf. She has increased our faith and understanding of His plan. She has increased our love of our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ruby has made clear, what is most important in this life. She is only 5 months old, and she is my hero.
Matt asked very special blessing at the beginning of this trial, that Ruby and I would form a very close and special bond. That has truly come about. I am so thankful, everyday, that Ruby was so carefully placed in our family, and that I was chosen to be her mother.
I love my Ruby Jane.

The first time I heard this song by Mindy Glendhill, it instantly became "my song" for Ruby, and I sing it to her often.

I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one

My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds

Chorus

Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you

Chorus

image: brynn alyson photography