i feel like we are just racing against the clock over here. our life can be turned upside down in a split second. each day we have together as a family is precious to me. i feel like i can't get enough of them.
this past week i have been trying my hardest to make our home life as normal as possible. i have just been craving normal. this weekend was the first saturday in 2 months that we have all been home, out of the hospital, and not throwing a party. (ruby's blessing, and kate's 3rd birthday party)
we spent the afternoon in the sun gardening, and i felt like a little piece of heaven.
ruby's little belly has slowly been getting bigger and bigger over the past week. her poor little face is getting puffier too. we spent tuesday at ucla, and thankfully did not have to be admitted, but we might need to go back tomorrow for treatment.
the reality is that ruby is getting sicker. her symptoms continue to come faster and more aggressively as the weeks go on. it is scary to watch her breathing rate increase with the size of her belly. it is sad to watch her itch her little face. it is hard to see her pretty blue eyes be overlooked for the greenish hint to her sclera. i hate that i can only give 6 ounces a day. it is worrisome when she sleeps more and more, and smiles less and less.
it is just all part of this game. this terrible game.
she is going to be worse, before she gets better. that is the reality.
and it scares me.
this past week i have been trying my hardest to make our home life as normal as possible. i have just been craving normal. this weekend was the first saturday in 2 months that we have all been home, out of the hospital, and not throwing a party. (ruby's blessing, and kate's 3rd birthday party)
we spent the afternoon in the sun gardening, and i felt like a little piece of heaven.
ruby's little belly has slowly been getting bigger and bigger over the past week. her poor little face is getting puffier too. we spent tuesday at ucla, and thankfully did not have to be admitted, but we might need to go back tomorrow for treatment.
the reality is that ruby is getting sicker. her symptoms continue to come faster and more aggressively as the weeks go on. it is scary to watch her breathing rate increase with the size of her belly. it is sad to watch her itch her little face. it is hard to see her pretty blue eyes be overlooked for the greenish hint to her sclera. i hate that i can only give 6 ounces a day. it is worrisome when she sleeps more and more, and smiles less and less.
it is just all part of this game. this terrible game.
she is going to be worse, before she gets better. that is the reality.
and it scares me.
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6 comments:
ani, you are strong. what a special little family you have. as always, you are in our prayers.
Ruby is a special, special little spirit. I feel that. She is a strong little one, and is handling this like a trooper, better than all of us, I think! I'm very thankful that you know that Heavenly Father has all of you in his arms. And you ARE doing it...and doing it well...one day at a time. I am in awe of your family. I love you, Mom
we love you too Taylor Family!!!
the unknown... the worse before it gets better... never a fun game!
Always praying for you at this house! I fret and stew right along with you....
this just breaks my heart. i can't say it enough. i am so, so sorry. i am praying for you!
You are such a good mom. Ruby is such a sweet girl.
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