Day Six- Play, really play with your kids

I remember driving to the hospital on a Saturday afternoon. It was the last time we would make that drive up with Ruby. As we passed the lake by our house, I saw families out on the paddle boats, and started crying. I so badly wanted to be one of those normal families. I wanted to have just one normal weekend with my whole family home, doing normal family things. As hard as we tried, having a picnic outside of the cafeteria with a big IV pole, just wasn't super normal! 

I, like every mom out there, was guilty of feeling overwhelmed in those first few months before we knew Ruby was sick. I longed for a nap. I longed for quiet. I longed for a minute to myself. Some computer time, some time away, and a trip to Target...ALONE! It only took a few hours into our journey of hospital life to realize that what I really wanted was what I had had. Being home, day in and day out with my kids was perfect. Waking up at night, and being tired seemed like a walk in the park. I just wanted my normal life back. The thought that I would have that back someday, really gave me hope. We had a few weeks here and there...and it was really heavenly. I appreciated everything about my role as a mother and wife, and homemaker so deeply. I wrote a post about my new perspective, and it has helped me remember that time. I am guilty of falling back into some of my old habits of being frustrated as a mom. I know it is normal, but I think I should know better...I know how lucky I am to have Kate. I think I wrote that post so I could remind myself. 

 I miss Ruby so much, and wish so badly I could make memories with her now, but that will have to wait until we are reunited. She taught me to enjoy each day to the fullest. She taught me that I have the greatest job on Earth to be a mother.

Reposted.....

Monday, August 1, 2011

Perpective

The old me thought I was tired and stressed out. The old me was unsatisfied with my clothes, my weight, and my ugly carpet. The old me dreaded hearing the babies cry over the monitor, too early in the morning. The old me was bored watching cartoons, and folding laundry. The old me hated making breakfast, and pour endless sippy's full of milk every day. The old me dreaded running errands with two kids to get in and out of car seats and into shopping carts. The old me did not think it was a big deal to spend a Saturday at the beach, or paddle boating around the lake. The old me was tired and grump from walking up the hill to our house from the lake. The old couldn't wait until nap time, when I could have some time to myself. The old me hated doing dishes, and checking the mail. The old me rushed bedtime and skipped pages in bedtime stories. The old me sang lullaby's quickly, and was relucted to sing, "just one more."

What was the old me thinking?!
My heart is literally aching right now to have my old life back, but with my new perspective. What I would give to have my whole family home on a rainy Sunday morning, making breakfast, and delivering chocolate milk on a fancy platter to my little Kate. I want to forget about the dirty dishes, and get down on the floor with my girls and play, play, and play. I would be thankful for that cheap carpet, because it beats none at all. I dream of the day that I get to wake up in my bed, and hear BOTH girls waking me up early in the morning. I will make them whatever they want for breakfast, and turn the music up loud and dance while I make their pancakes (because I know that is what Kate will want.) I will get them dressed and spend time gently combing and doing their hair, and breathing them in. I won't rush them. What is the rush about anyway? I'll load them in their carseats, and give them kisses while I buckled them in. I'll be happy listening to Disney songs as we drive to Target, or McDonald's, or the park. I'll chase them, and tickle them, and push them on the swings. We will spend our evenings playing outside, and cooking dinner together in the kitchen. Bath time will be long and drawn out, just like it should be. Bedtime will have lots of cuddling, and a few bedtime stories read slowly while doing the appropriate voices for Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear, and Goldilocks. Matt and I will fall into bed exhausted together, and thank Heavenly Father for this new perspective on life and what is truly important and ask that we might be able to always remember.

Drawing sent to us by a cute little girl! It is Kate and Ruby in their beds at home. I love this.