Everyone gathers around waiting for the elevator to open. We all pile in, and then it is time. Time to come clean. So much can be told by which button you chose on that wall full of shiny numbered buttons.
Choose 2?
You are waiting for someone in surgery.
Usually those people have red brimmed eyes and do not make eye contact.
I want to give these people a hug.
Choose 3?
Pediatric Oncology floor.
These parents are tired. They are old pros, but they are tired, and worried.
Choose 4? Neuropsychiatric. Mostly these people I think look relieved or nervous.
Choose 5? That's me. Every day, after lunch and dinner, I make my way into the elevator and I push the big shiny 5. "Yup," I am thinking as the elevator full of people look on, "I have a sick baby."
As we slowly make our way up to each floor, mostly everyone stays silent. As each person steps out on their floor, I am thinking, "Good luck! You can do it!" But, I stay silent.
Confessions are meant to be private.
But everyday, at 2, and 9, I push that "5" in front of an elevator full of people.
I have a sick baby.
Choose 2?
You are waiting for someone in surgery.
Usually those people have red brimmed eyes and do not make eye contact.
I want to give these people a hug.
Choose 3?
Pediatric Oncology floor.
These parents are tired. They are old pros, but they are tired, and worried.
Choose 4? Neuropsychiatric. Mostly these people I think look relieved or nervous.
Choose 5? That's me. Every day, after lunch and dinner, I make my way into the elevator and I push the big shiny 5. "Yup," I am thinking as the elevator full of people look on, "I have a sick baby."
As we slowly make our way up to each floor, mostly everyone stays silent. As each person steps out on their floor, I am thinking, "Good luck! You can do it!" But, I stay silent.
Confessions are meant to be private.
But everyday, at 2, and 9, I push that "5" in front of an elevator full of people.
I have a sick baby.
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5 comments:
Hi Ani,
I am a friend of Mike and Megan's and I am so touched by your post today.
After having my baby in the NICU for 3 months, I know exactly what you are talking about. I remember thinking the same thing.
Although I can't relate to your exact experience, I know what it is like to spend everyday in the hospital. You are doing such a great job and I can tell you are an amazing mom!
Keep it up, you can do it!
I remember having those same feelings and wanting so bad to comfort other people and pray with them. You are such a strong Mama!
ani,
i got an email today telling me about baby ruby's fundraiser website. when i clicked on the link it gave me the link to this blog. i am so happy that i can look in on your lives and get more frequent updates on baby ruby.
we continue to pray for you guys daily and hope that you are holding up ok. we are so sorry that you have had to deal with so much for so long now and hope that soon a donor will come through. if there is ever anything we can do we will in a heart beat.
all our love!
Loving you everyday! Wishing I could do more! You and your family are my thoughts and prayers CONSTANTLY!
Hi Ani,
This is Eric Taggart. We're the friends of Kim Davis with little Avy who has biliary atresia and had the Kasai. I'm at the lab right now waiting to have her pricked and drawn again. Our blood results two weeks ago show that the surgery seems to be working for right now. We're grateful every day. I'm reading your blog in the waiting room and just crying and crying for you guys. We love you and you have our thoughts and prayers.
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