Just For the Record

I sat in the shade today, on a quilt made by my great grandmother. I watched my daughter running and playing, her shiny golden brown hair swinging with each eager step she took. She didn't need me today at the park. What had changed in a weeks time? She climbed to the top of the play structure by herself. She played nicely with the other kids there. She even pulled herself onto the swing alone. "Watch me Mom! I did it me self!"

I felt time, like it was tangible in the moment. It was moving so fast I could barely wrap my heart around it before it was gone.

Why is it so emotional to see a child grow? She is no longer a baby. I have been ignoring the little signs for so long. But today, as I sat watching my baby swinging herself, I saw it. It is hard to see through the cloud of denial. But, for a brief moment today it cleared.

She is turning into such a cute, smart, and mature little girl. I realize, yes, that she will always be my baby. But in those moments now that she says, "I need you Mama. Hold you" I am going to grasp onto that time like my life depends on it, and let it soak in.

I am learning how greedy Time can be.