While I have some catching up to do, I thought I would start right where we are!
I looked back through my old posts and was so thankful that I documented our life. I want to do more of that. There are little memories that fade when they are not written down, and I do not want to miss these moments.
This morning the twins were sitting on the counter in their pink and blue bumbos, looking out the window, and occasionally looking over their shoulder to smile at me. Lola was eating her oatmeal and listening to Preschool Songs on Alexa with a big smile on her face. I was making eggs, and singing along and making my kiddos smile and laugh. I realized that this stage in my life is not going to last very long. I know one day soon I will long for the days when my littles were home with me, all safe and snug on a raining morning. As I washed my pan, I noticed a knife in the sick with some peanut butter on it, and realized that Kate had gotten herself dressed for school, and even made herself breakfast. Part of me cheered at her independence, while the other other part of me felt a sting of regret that I had missed out on yet another morning with Kate while I caught up on sleep.
In this stage in my life I feel stretched in so many different ways. My kids all need me for so many different purposes. Kate needs a listening ear, rides, teaching, encouragement, praise, reminders, deodorant, money, hugs, and help with Math! Lola needs snuggles, boo-boos kissed, endless snacks, hair combed, shoes tied, car seat unbuckled, middle of the night legs rubbed and scary dreams chased away. Ruby continues to stretch me in ways I never knew I needed stretching! I continue to learn about love, grief, priories, the gospel, and parenting from our little angel. Jack requires warm bottles on the double, clean diapers, tummy time, tickles, showers with Dad, smiles, and lots of attention! Emma wants snuggles and kisses on the face, nursing, warm relaxing baths, swaddling, tummy time, and lots of attention. They call, whisper, shout, yell, sing, laugh, and cry my name, "Mama!" what feels like all day long. While I would like to say that I always come running happily to their pleas for me, but I catch myself at least once a day responding, "WHAAAAAAAAT?!" It can be overwhelming most days to feel needed by so many people. BUT, I can't imagine my life in other way. I wouldn't want them calling anyone else. Well, maybe besides, "Daddy." They do plenty of that too! This is the life I dreamed of, signed up for, and made happen. Matt and I work every day to have a happy home, with happy kids, a happy marriage, and a happy life. It's the goal, and I fall in bed exhausted every night in pursue of it!
So to sum up the January 2018 Ani in four words: needed, exhausted, busy and happy!
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