Two years. Two years since I have cuddled my baby. My Tiny. Two years ago was the darkest day of my life. It felt like the darkest day that could have possibly ever been. Ruby was back and forth from this world to the next, and we could feel it. It was a terrible, gut wrenching experience to see life slipping from my infant child. I wasn't ready. I had not given up. Selfish? Maybe. But, 7 months is too short. Any amount of time would have been too short to be with my Ruby girl.
I have tried to live in the present, especially since Lola joined our family. I have been able to reflect on the happy times with Ruby, but today is hard. Today, two years ago is hard to forget, even though I have prayed and prayed to forget.
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14 comments:
You've been in my thoughts around this anniversary. Sending lots of peace and love to your family. heart ep
You are amazing. She wasn't here long enough. She left such a great lasting impression on the world and it is wonderful all the honor you have given to her. Good thing families are forever. You will get to hold her again. This life is so short in the eternal perspective. Although it may be hard, these are your trials and Heavenly Father knows you. He knows you can rise above the hard times and become a better servant and daughter of God. I love reading your blog and my heart aches for your loss of Ruby. She was a doll and I bet she is spreading her love and happiness in heaven. You are blessed to be her mother and she is blessed that you are eternally her mother. Congratulations on your new baby. Take care!
Oh Ani, sending hugs your way. Unfortunately in life, certain things are never forgotten. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and I am so sorry for the hurt you are enduring today. Breathe....soon it will be tomorrow, and today will be yesterday. You will have made it through another hard day one minute, one hour at a time.
You'll be in my thoughts today. Hugs.
Praying for strength for you today and always. Ruby is lucky to have you as a mommy. Even if it is from Heaven. Peace to you.
The anguish I feel just from reading your experience is almost too much to bear. I pray that you get through this anniversary and all future ones with peace.
Thinking of you. Ruby is remembered.
You are a remarkable person, Ani. I know we've never met, but your strength is a miraculous thing. I think you're entitled to a bad day every now and then. God bless you. ♥
I can't imagine the pain that you went through two years ago...and that you continue to go through. Just know that your sweet Ruby has changed thousands of lives in her short life. More than most of us will do in a lifetime! Her legacy will live on...even for perfect strangers!
I cannot begin to imagine the struggles you and your family have faced over the last two years, but I hope that burden is lessened by the fact that your story has helped so many people. I think of your sweet Ruby everyday :) Thank you for sharing her with us.
no words only {{{{HUGS}}}} and tears
I still remember reading the news. And while you prayed to forget the pain of specifically that day (and I don't blame you), I prayed to remember. Ruby's short life has changed so many of us for the better! I want to be a better mom because of her. Thank you for sharing so much with us, allowing us to learn from Ruby, and your entire family.
Your little Ruby is precious. Even though I didn't know her I think of her often. She is a huge reminder to me that Families are Forever. Her little eyes melt my heart.
Ani!My name is Laís and I am from Curitiba,Brazil and before my full-time mission I followed your blog daily. I just love to read it.yes, I think you're one of strongest mother I've ever met. I know with 100% sure that Our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and yes baby Ruby is inspiring thousands from Heaven. I just want you to know that I prayed for your beautiful family. And I am really happy to know that you gave birth to a cute baby girl! May Lord bless you and your family! Kisses, Laís
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